kinship | 002 Study Groups

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002 Study Groups

[A: Private to Abel]

[Enough was enough. His chest hurt with the last couple of weeks, knowing his brother was here and yet being alone all the same. It wasn't right, it was painful to endure, and he had come to the end of his patience with it. He thought Abel would seek him out; after all, he was apparently the elder now and with all the knowledge of what was to come, it had been his words that had hurt Cain in the first place, and... Cain had just really thought his brother would come through for him.

But apparently Abel was immature at ten or ten thousand, and so it was up to Cain to make things right between them. He had waited until everyone else in the house was engaged in their own tasks, and then gone to the lounge where the 'father' of the house was sitting. He had avoided the same room as his brother since their argument, and even now his heart was thudding hard in nerves that this would end in the same way. Poking his head through the door, he took a deep breath.]

Abel..?

[B: Phones / Open to all]

I know there are a lot of academics here; students at the schools, those assigned to teach them, and those with just an interest in knowledge. The subjects taught to the year groups are very fixed and don't allow for exploration, and I wondered if there were any systems in place for learning outside the schools.

With all the people represented here, it seems a shame that we can't learn from each other. I know I would love to learn other histories and skills, and I'm sure I can't be the only one.

If there are others who feel the same way, who think they want to learn or could have something to teach, why don't we try it?

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[Abel finds himself startled from the truly inspired task of listening (read: zoning off) to the phone lines by his brother's voice. the priest gives an awkward little jump, almost fumbling the receiver before finally clicking it back down on the hook with a seemingly guilty and sheepish smile, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't... then again, just about everything felt 'wrong' when it came to his little... big brother.

he pushes glasses up his nose and offers a tentative smile, politely friendly as ever. this isn't awkward, no. no! not at all. this is how things have always been or something. yes. totally.]

Ah-- Cain? Is everything okay?

[That guilty look and tentative smile were all wrong, alien expressions on his brother's face, and combined with the forced friendly politeness, it was... just wrong.]

No. You know it's not, you can't pretend that you think this is okay. We need to... it can't go on like this.

[...ah.

the smile began to slip from his face, at that. his brother had seemed -- not content, but... placated, by their mutual and silent reservation to keeping their distances and walking on eggshells around each other. it was... wrong; of course it was wrong.

but so many things were, when it came to all of this. when it came to... Cain and Abel.]

...

[Slipping properly into the room, he came to take a seat on a chair opposite his brother, piercing blue meeting identical eyes as though to look right through him and see the truth.]

Why didn't you come to me? Are you really happier without us talking?

[It hurt to even ask that question.]

[Abel's eyes turn down under that scrutiny, seeking distraction -- this time, in the form of removing the glasses from his face to fiddle with, cleaning lenses on the end of his shirt.]

Of... course not, I just--

[the excuse sounds pathetic, even in his head.]

...thought you... needed your space.

[His eyebrows shot up as he looked at his brother incredulously, as though Abel had answered him in a foreign language.]

...From you?

You've been... avoiding me.

[he doesn't blame him. of course he doesn't blame him... there's no judgment in his tone or his eyes. on the contrary, just understanding.]

I'm not-- the 'Abel' you remember, right? So, it's like living with a stranger for you... I don't want to force you into talking if you don't want to, hm?

We'll all get home, and things will be like they're supposed to. Until then, it's perfectly okay if you need some space... okay, Cain? I won't make you do anything you don't want to.

You're right, you're not the Abel I remember.

[He was cross, furious in a way he didn't usually get, hurt that Abel could even be so stupid where they were concerned. Reaching out, he pushed the palm of a small hand against the priest's chest almost roughly, leaving it there above his heartbeat.]

But you're still the Abel I know. I don't care if you're ten or ten thousand, you're still Abel... aren't I still Cain?

[--ah, Cain--

he looks taken aback at the press of a tiny hand to his chest, right above his... heart.]

[...that heart tugs painfully at this ;(

Cain. it's-- not like that, it isn't... that you're not-- ahh...

his brow furrows and there is clear conflict in his eyes as they drop from his brother's. he's hurting him, isn't he? this isn't what he wanted, at all.]

...I'm... sorry, Cain.

[you're you... you're definitely you. you're plucked right out of his fondest memories, and that's why it... hurts. he doesn't know what to do with this at all. ;(]

Stop apologising and looking sorry for yourself.

[He folded his arms, putting on his best stern big brother expression.]

I don't understand what's happened to you, Abel. Why are you ashamed of me? Of us? Of everything? Why do you think I wouldn't love you even if you were fifty feet tall? Why won't you be my other half any more? I know you can, I don't understand why you won't.

--I'm not ash... ashamed of you! It's not--

[damnit; how the hell does he possibly explain? he doesn't even... know what to do, at a loss and obvious strain on his face as he finds himself staring back into blue eyes looking back at him, vehemently wanting to impress upon him it isn't anything on Cain and entirely his own fault. but he's still... selfishly clinging to the desire to keep all his failures private, to keep him innocent and oblivious, and...]

[ugh. facepalming, to rub...

...this... isn't working.

this, keeping him at arm's length and simply... waiting for things to go back to how they should be is just tearing at his brother, and how the hell could he ever forgive himself for that? he's doing it all over again...]

[...deep breath...

steeling himself.

takes a bit of talking up to himself in his head, but...

he hesitates--

and then reaches out, tentatively, before... gently cupping his brother's cheeks in his hands. so small. and soft.]

...I'm... I-- want to... make you smile. I never want to be the reason why you're... sad, or hurting anymore. You'd think I'd have learned by now... right?

[a wan smile. he really is repeating old mistakes, isn't he? fell right back into old habits... ignoring his brother's pain in favor of drowning his own. selfish and... stupid. he's so stupid...]

You... help me out, okay? Help me out, show me how to make things okay again, and I promise... I'll make it up to you. I promise, Cain.

[Tilting his face into Abel's touch, heart panging hard in his chest, he wished Abel could have come to these conclusions on his own. It hurts that he would have avoided Cain forever, if he hadn't made the first move.]

I don't want you to do anything, but be my twin again.

[Be always with him; be close to him, love him and be loved.]

We're supposed to be together. You always said you'd bite the shins off anyone who tried to separate us... [He swallowed a little thickly, bending to tap Abel's shinbone twice.] ...so get chewing.

[b... brother ;;

a thumb... tentatively rubs one of those cheeks, before he's plucking this little guy up and right into his lap, squeezing the daylights out of him. s-so tight. >: YOU DON'T NEED TO BREATHE EVER AGAIN OKAY

also move

because you're not leaving this spot ever.]

Sorry. I'm-- sorry, Cain... I'm so sorry. [and he isn't really apologizing for the tiny slights of Mayfield as much as the horrors of home. he is such a fail brother ;/]

[Hugs had been rare from Abel back in his time, and he still associated them partially with pain - with a breakdown of emotion that meant his brother needed comfort more badly than he needed to maintain his pride.

Arms snaked around him as far as they would go, rubbing his back gently and tucking his head under his brother's chin.]

Lilith always says be yourself, and you always said you'd never pretend to be like them to fit in. So why is everything about us secret now, I don't understand.

[his fingers twitch, slightly, at mention of that name... before he's curling the boy a bit tighter into him. ;( brother...]

...

Why won't you tell me?

I... can't.

You're me! There's nothing you can't tell me.

Why would I be joking? There's so much to learn, and the curriculum only teaches certain things.

Most people don't dig school, that's all.

Why not? Learning is essential for later life.

[It sounds like something he's been told so often he now believes it's true.]

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